Laoshi

The word "laoshi," (pronounced lao-sure) is the romanized version of the Chinese word for teacher, an incredibly respected and beloved term in their language. Were you to visit China, rather than seeing athletes on billboards sponsoring a product, you would instead observe photographs of well-known professors. To the Chinese people, the regard for educators hearkens back literally thousands of years--something our materialistically-driven cultural could definitely learn from. For our family, the word also holds reverential meaning, as the laoshi for my children has made all the difference in our world.

When I first met Laoshi 2 1/2 years ago, I immediately liked her. Bright, kind, happy, and unassuming, she felt like the perfect person to assist me in my goal of helping my children learn Mandarin. Knowing full well the limits of my own ability to shoulder the reponsibility alone, we quickly arranged for visits three times a week to her home (which is just several minutes away from mine).

Quickly we became friends, and I learned that she moved here from Taiwan 20+ years ago (where she had previously been a kindergarten teacher), and she married a long-time resident of what used to be our "little" town, and then started a family. Unbeknownst to me, I was just beginning my mommy burnout, and the chance to regularly meet with someone and witness a part of myself steadily improving (my language ability), rather than rapidly declining, meant more than I explain.

Each week we drove to her house, and I began to let my hair down as I watched her engage my children in singing, dancing, and playing in this wonderful language. Gradually it gave me permission to play with my kids in a way I hadn't allowed myself at home. (Can you believe I had never played hide-and-go-seek with my kids before I met her? Pathetic.) For whatever reason, pulling away the distractions of laundry, dishes, and cleaning, and placing me in an environment where the whole point was to involve my children in a lighthearted atmosphere in order to learn, allowed me to finally relax and enjoy my kids in a way I hadn't before.

As the months passed, and I began to hear more and more Chinese expressions escape my children's lips, I also discovered how Laoshi's quiet, genteel approach to living affected my soul. Surrounded by horses on own side, cattle on the other, with a large garden and chickens in the backyard, Laoshi lives peacefully. Whenever we enter her home, there is a calmness that I love. I never hear television, radio, or other distractions that get in the way. As part of this, she also has a love for children that is tangible. Her patient understanding of how they think, why they behave the way they do, and how easily they respond to her authenticity moves me, and over the years I have taken quiet notes as to how she approaches her own mothering. Interestingly enough, she also has four children of her own, now ranging in ages from 19 to 11--two boys and two girls--just like me. Each one of her kids is amazing, and I take pleasure in observing how much she savors the opportunity to be their mother.

Thankfully for us, sometimes this spills out in her devotion to our family. Without equivocation, I can proudly say that she is a second mother to my children. (Just the other day, when Sassy got in trouble she sobbed and cried out, "I want Laoshi!" Meanwhile, you should see how the baby lights up like a Christmas tree in her presence.) I relish in the fact that they adore her so much because her uplifting influence on their lives bolsters mine. How many people do any of us know who truly has no guile?

When at look back on my relationship with Laoshi, I often consider the phrase "hindsight is 20/20." Uttered so often, it can lose some of its significance, and yet I feel like it describes so much of my experience up to this point of my life. As I look back upon being guided to Laoshi, I feel more gratitude than I will ever be able to convey to either Diety or human being. Though I initially believed I had acquired a wonderful teacher for my children to learn a language, I now realize that in all actuality Laoshi has been graciously willing to become my teacher.

May God always bless her for being my angel. We love you so much, Laoshi! Xie xie ni!